Clumsy Quips is an upcoming literary magazine featuring extraordinary writing and pithy remarks. We are currently on the hunt for particularly impressive short stories, essays, humorous lists or observations, and poetry.
If you consider yourself a master of the written word–whatever form that may take–please feel free to submit content to firstname.lastname@example.org.
For complete guidelines on submissions please see below. All approved content will be featured on our site complete with an illustration, a byline, and could potentially appear in our print magazine. Also, please note that while we attempt to respond to all queries within three weeks, the size of our team and our proclivity for happy hours sometimes makes that simply impossible.
For Quips in 140 Characters:
For pithy remarks of any sort (poetry included) please tweet @clumsyquips. The best will be featured on our twitter feed, and our homepage.
For Short Fiction:
Short stories should ideally max out at about 1,000 words, though we’re willing to consider some that inch in around the 1,500 mark. There are no hard and fast guidelines as to what we publish, though we have a predilection for particularly poetic prose, and anything that mentions famous writers of yore.
Please send all short fiction submissions to: email@example.com with the subject line: Short Fiction / [Title of Piece].
Poems of any modest length (less than 1000 words) are welcome. Please format as you would like your poem to appear on the site. All poetry submissions should be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line: Poetry / [Title of Piece].
Essays can be on any subject, but should ring in at a maximum of 1,500 words. While first person shock and awe essays will be considered, be warned, we lean more towards observational, wise, and witty words.
All essays should be submitted to: email@example.com with the subject line: Essays / [Title of Piece].
Humor quips can be submitted in almost any format–haiku, list, timely observation–so long as they’re funny, and under 1000 words long. Three lists, or haikus may be submitted simultaneously, though all others must be submitted one at a time. Send all humor quips to: firstname.lastname@example.org the subject line: Humor / [Title of Piece}.
Please just send one piece of writing at a time, unless it is a list or haiku (see above). Responses will be sent out within three weeks, after which you can turn around and submit a new piece of writing immediately.
Formatting and Emailing Rules:
Please, please, please place all content in the body of the email. Attachments are far too cumbersome. Also, be sure to include the category of your writing in the subject line, as well as the title of your piece.
All submitted quips should start like this:
Email Twitter or Instagram Handle
You retain the rights to anything you write.